at last

12:00 AM

certain songs will always remind me of christmas

and not the happy part 

nothing minty

nothing wrapped in red

they remind me of the end of it all

when it starts getting colder

when 6 o'clock mornings begin to catch up with frozen eyes and wide open mouths

and when taking down trees and lights mean removing summers final trace

i don't remember any of the gifts i got last christmas

maybe some clothes

maybe some money

nothing memorable though

the fun stops when broken carrots and chocolate chip cookies are hidden by ourselves

and im not sure why, 

but i wasted my last christmas here on heartache i shouldn't have

i wasted it under blankets in february's basement

and fixing hair in rear view mirrors 2 years back

i wasted my last christmas with ashes

and second halves of chick flicks

with red shirts, and white socks, and fingertips i never got along with


but don't worry

because next christmas

i'll be far from here

and so will you



at last.






10 comments

  1. Colby BartonMarch 10, 2015 at 12:16 AM

    Teach me how to write

    ReplyDelete
  2. Alice S. BlackwellMarch 10, 2015 at 4:47 AM

    It's 4:45 AM and my CO2 detectors are running wild. First thing to do naturally is to check the blog, not the quality of air, same as Colby. Same as colby. Same.

    That song is so brilliant. So so fitting.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Reagan CurtisMarch 10, 2015 at 6:27 AM

    Broke my heart a little.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hannah EliesonMarch 10, 2015 at 6:38 AM

    And fingertips I never got along with

    At last

    Daylight savings is killing me right now so I'm procrastinating school by reading blogs and this definitely was not a waste of time

    ReplyDelete
  5. NelsonMarch 10, 2015 at 6:49 AM

    Get some sleep people

    ReplyDelete
  6. Jessica RhodesMarch 10, 2015 at 6:27 PM

    YEAH MADELINE.

    ReplyDelete
  7. C. JadeMarch 10, 2015 at 7:36 PM

    This was very beautiful and relateable and incredible.
    everything you write screams with insane beauty and feeling.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Emma FMarch 10, 2015 at 9:30 PM

    Rt Colby. This makes me want summer even though you talked about Christmas. Idk I just love your writing.

    ReplyDelete
  9. NelsonMarch 11, 2015 at 11:37 AM

    I love how Christmas can be sad. My favorite Christmas song is Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas by Coldplay and it's sad AF. (Sorry to bring American Fork into this.)

    Why is sad so beautiful to me?

    ReplyDelete
  10. ...March 11, 2015 at 7:09 PM

    k. this is incredible. im speechless. so goodbye.

    ReplyDelete