when i was younger my biggest fear was that a shark would eat me while i was in the shower.
(don't ask)
and i learned in elementary that sharks always attack when they smell blood.
whenever i had a bloody nose i would cry.
so i ruled out any kind of medical career years ago.
i don't know if it's because I lose all control of my body at the sight of blood, or because I would never pass any kind of biology class.
and now im just scared of sharks and blood and everything.
but mostly anything that's less than perfect
and to be a perfectionist means to be addicted to never being good enough.
and trust me,
perfection,
he's the scariest thing.
he'll take you away from friday night football and ever wanting to try sushi
he'll take you away from feeling good in purple and he won't let that go
he'll lurk under your bed, and when the timings right, he'll creep into your skull and chip away any part that ever thought you could have been something extraoridnary.
he'll tell you you're ugly,
you're not good enough,
and darling i would floss before people see those teeth.
he'll keep you up till 2, or 3, or 4 cause you've finished all your homework but you could've done so much better.
and all your wounds will be sewn up by friends and good company, but somehow he'll always find ways to get ahold of scissors and rubbing alcohol.
he'll stab you in the back,
but you'll always catch him.
because when have you ever looked in the mirror when he wasn't?
i hate that i used to complain about 9 am kindergarten,
and that pony tails never required bobby pins
and nowadays i try not to complain about 7 am high school
and at this point I'm holding my whole life together with bobby pins
when we depended on everyone except ourselves, and laces, they tied up more shoes than hearts that were broken
the way our eyes saw beauty
the way our eyes were never dry
but that was fine, because there was always someone to fix that
and nowadays,
there's nobody that will fix that.
but look,
we're all sad, and we're all alone, and we're all scared, and we all cry, and we all go on almost midnight drives up and down nowhere just to play some john mayer / ed sheeran remix leaving every threatening sorrow at red, yellow, green, or whatever lights we decided to stop at.
and it's always midnight
we're too afraid of being seen
or being heard
or being fixed
we haven't grown up
we've grown prideful
we've grown a garden full of blood stained daisies, and we're too stubborn to let someone else over only to say hi.
bring us peanut-butter cookies, or just pet the dog.
if we missed it we'd still be crying over popsicles that hit the same pavement as our knees...
from a girl who can't sit longer than 30 minutes
to a boy who couldn't ever spend just an hour in a dream
last wednesday was a breaking point (we all know)
last wednesday
and the wednesday before
and before
and before
and before
and i don't know what it is about wednesdays but maybe it's the way it's spelt
or because it's the middle
and for some reason the middle is always the worst
like the name and the stomach and the child
i don't know what it is about wednesdays but maybe it's because of haircuts
or maybe it's because i was born
so now my family calls me "wednesday's child"
an orphan from the newspaper years ago
wednesdays and orphans are fine
wednesdays and orphans are fine
but I'm not gonna make this about wednesdays, or orphans, because this is from me to you
from an introvert
to an extrovert
because she can't sit without screaming
because he's too busy for dreaming
but I'm not gonna make this about screaming or dreaming
because this is from me to you:
this is from me to you:
from young we were taught how to love but not how to stop
