i know i'm human because i get emotional.  

but i guess animals do too.  

yesterday my dad moved our couch to the other side of the living room, and my dog cried for 20 minutes after realizing he couldn't see out the window.

i know i'm human because without telling i moved it back.

maybe it's because i get so riled up about name calling. if i were a pageant girl "i'd stop bullying" would be my answer to "how would you change the world?"

and that's really the only reason i wanna be a teacher.

or maybe it's because i already have my favorite band's 4th album memorized, and it doesn't even come out till tomorrow.

or because i don't know which ways north, and which ways south, and where the hell is the point of the mountain anyway? 

maybe it's because birds and butterflies migrate when it's winter, and because every bear somehow sleeps through it

and let me tell you; 

i'd love to sleep through it

but maybe that's what makes me human.

maybe it's because no matter how cold it gets, 

or no matter how many times the hot coco machine breaks down during the month of december -

maybe 

just maybe........

maybe

it's 

because 

i 

always 

decide

 to 

stay.

and sophomore year i thought it was rad to complain about already having "senioritis" but boy was i wrong.

im so sick i can't even see the piles of applications in front of me

either that, or there are none

I'm too young to be worried about applications

i keep forgetting what i have for homework, and I'm pretty sure I'm too young for memory loss.

i tried writing "don't forget psych paper" on my hand, but i only had a pencil.  

i have no idea where this is going, but all i want to say is maybe we should give up for a while

we've got time

one day you'll wake up seventeen and i swear everything thats ever been good-willed and beautiful packed their bags full of sugar and left for the train only 5 minutes before your alarm decided it was finally your turn.

because sixteen has meaning, and eighteen has more, so why would they think to stay.

we are only meant for the R rated movies, and that one overrated magazine

SO WHO CARES

who cares

who even cares about seventeen

please. 

please just come back.

come back for tea. maybe leave your things at the door. put your feet up on the counter and just relax on that coward print sofa for while. lets bask in the temperature of who cares, and at least try to enjoy the incandescent sounds of this unwanted rhapsody called now

cause tomorrow you might be eighteen

and eighteen isn't supposed to be relaxing,

and nineteen isn't supposed to be relaxing,

and darling you've got a lot of growing up to do before you turn twenty 

so please, inhale what is left

store it in your snuggie, torn blanket, or whatever

because they say we're too young for this,

but maybe they're just too old to remember.

not sure what to say other than my psychology book looks heavy, and the view from my kitchen table gets worse every hour after 9 pm.

i sent a risky text and its been 7 minutes without a response so I'm a little nervous.

and I just did (attempted) an entire calculus assignment with a sharpie pen only because it makes my handwriting look better.

it was so worth it - even though it bled right through, and destroyed my kitchen counter.

"nobody tells mom"

- my little brother after he spilled chocolate milk all over his newly steamed church shirt this morning

but onto more important things(i guess):

we fought like first graders

i remember that one night we were coloring in the basement and you kept trying to steal that grayish-blue crayon from me. i couldn't tell if you  actually needed it, or if you just wanted to hold my hand. 

16 never felt so child-like

but i was fine with that

our go-to was bowling. we'd stay up all night sending each other those stupid facebook bunny stickers, and whenever we had somewhere to go we'd make someone else drive just so we could cuddle in the back seat. 

you always made fun of me for holding so tight, but here's why:

you drew all over my favorite sweater and we broke up 2 weeks later. 

http://youtu.be/_VPKfacgXao

 things i thought you should know:

i stole a teddy bear in second grade 

i didn't pass drivers ed (twice)

i can't tell the difference between black and navy

im terrified of anyone who can recite the alphabet backwards

my talents include naming playlists, swallowing gum before kissing, and wasting 25 cent wishes on unimportant things

 im right handed, and ive never forgiven myself for being so mainstream