ok

2:32 PM

it's december 5th and everyone has already been asked to preference

the only boy i wanted to take has

but if he hadn't, i don't even think i would've asked him

the last dance i went to was ok. and the one before that was ok. i've never been to a dance where I came back on a cloud higher than I left. maybe there will be one this year. 

who knows. 

the living room floor is cold. my brother won't stop eating chocolate from the advent calendar. it's 7 pm and i probably should've made dinner, but my eyes are too tired.

that's ok
i've been ok for enough weeks that ok is just a drill
it's a fire drill that has lasted one too many class periods, and one too many attendance schools, and it's getting irritating, and unnecessary, and we do this every year, so can we go back inside now?

can i go inside now?

where it's a little warmer
a little quieter
where hands still hide under blankets
but the air,
it never got in between anything 

i went on a drive last night with an old friend who wore a white hat and lies that matched

and honestly,
i just wanted it to be you

i played your second favorite song the whole way home
which was a mistake

i saw street lights just as clear as the last 5 days 
which haven't been

so how are you?
how's your sister? 
are you still ok? 

 sorry if im late

because it's half past 11 and half past your bedtime 

it's half past whispering under made up constellations and half past constant conversation

it's half past the 6th 

and half past dreaming of ever going back.



and i know you're ok

and ill pretend i am too



but im not.



9 comments

  1. Half past.

    Everything you say is more interesting when you're saying it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I want to be real like you.
    Aside from that, "ok is just a drill
    it's a fire drill that has lasted one too many class periods,"
    thank you for you posts.

    ReplyDelete
  3. WHO WORE A WHITE HAT AND LIES THAT MATCHED

    ReplyDelete
  4. This took my breath away.
    You are such an intriguing writer.
    And I really like your new background.

    ReplyDelete
  5. So reading the beginning I thought it was going somewhere totally different, but this played an entirely different song and holy flip it was good.

    ReplyDelete
  6. RT CARINA, IVORY, AND LOMBARD STREET

    I need you to teach me how to have thoughts that sound even better written down and how to string to them together in the most amazing way. Love love love.

    ReplyDelete